Sunday, December 09, 2007

GMA Short Film Festival, a review of sorts by tony de guzman

Brief note: I mean, why bother, right? the answer is: because this is tv and it's happening right before my eyes. the concept is fucking winner, you have to give it to the marketing peeps of the station conducting the fest.

here's the 13 stuff.

Isang Anghel - Happee Toothpaste
Director: Gus Cruz
i mentioned the director's name because out of the 13 short films, this is the only one that impressed me. unlike the others, this one has no words. there's a brief dialogue at the end, mostly for function, not form. the peeps who thought of the idea of higlighting the "virtues" of the lamoiyan, the company that makes happee toothpaste, showing the workingman's sweet, happy, productive hours in the toothpaste machines, (they are exploited as workers, but that's beside the point.), whoever thought of this shit is a fucking genius. worthy of a fat bonus. good thing also that they didn't include ruby rodriguez in the cast. that kind of shit is apt to ruin the entire movie.

Brothers - Tanduay
this was made by the same director but this is a piece of shit compared to Isang Anghel. The dialogue overkill is just one problem. The flashback scenes are simply too cliche. the product placements go way beyond the rules of discreet and subliminal marketing strat.

Kutsara't Tinidor - CDO
this is one big cliche movie about a family who likes corned beef. when i saw the title screen, i said to myself "sana naman hindi ito tungkol sa mga kutsarang nalalaglag at mga bisitang dumrating." Sad to say, the film is mostly that, spoons and fork falling on the floor, lost sons and daughters coming back, to join their olds this christmas season, with corned beef and rice gracing the big dining table, two olds grinning with their grown-up kids, grandkids, the whole fucking family. how cliche is that? the entire film keeps nudging my sentimental side and i noticed it the whole time. i know what the fuck it's doing. how sick is that?

Night before Christmas - Coke
This shit's simply unwatchable.

Aguinaldo - Enervon
this reporter has got it all figured out. she has all the answers to "How to enjoy life despite the fact that you have work on sundays and holidays?" the film is predictable as fuck.

Soulmates - Fitrum
maganda sana kaso sobrang scripted ng dialogue. motherfucker!

Delivery Online - Goldilocks
ilang beses na bang nagkaroon ng commercial tungkol sa panganganak sa bisperas ng pasko at pagnonoche-buena sa loob ng ospital? seriously, folks. how many fucking times already? motherfucker!

Friends Forever - KFC
usual teeny-bopper shit. the only good thing about this shit is the presence of a shaggable chick that graces the entire film. the dialogue is totally and completely unnecessary. the costume is insane. kung sana man lang pinagsuoot nila ng magandang damit si janet, one of the characters, kesa sa suot niyang nakabakat ang buong puson at tiyan niya. tsk, tsk.

Fruitcake Na Naman! - Lady's Choice
traditional pinoy christmas homecoming. predictable motherfucker. the entire movie was a piece of shit. the kid's voice-over (which is supposed to be cute, but turned out to be a contrived motherfucker) didn't help the film at all. and what's special about macaroni salad, anyway?

All I Want for Christmas - Progress Gold
ok, there's a kid, and her mom's a doctor which is always called away on emergency shit at the hospital. the kid always stay with her jobless father. there's also a minor role for a brother but he showed up only at the beginning of the film. so the kid miss her mom. in the end, the kid left a note for her absent mother in the christmas tree. mom sees it, then cry. this shit has been done almost every month by different milk ads.

Dear Santa - Solmux
this shit has so many grey areas. one, why did santa gave the boy a gift? is santa the boy's father? two, the mother is an irresponsible whore. consider this: the kid wants to meet santa at the mall, then the whore made the kid drink some cold medicine, making the kid sleep the entire time that santa is around. when the kid woke up, alas, santa has packed up. buti na lang, nang pauwi na sila, biglang may kumalabit sa bata. excuse me, hinahanap mo raw si santa? here's a gift for you. back to question one: who is this santa? is he the boy's father? why is he giving the boy a gift?

Follow your passion - sunsilk
the title alone is a fucking dead give-away. the film is about a painter girl with hair fetish. she likes to paint hairstyles. a big disappointment to her doctor mother. again, people, why is this cliche the ultra-favorite? motherfucker! a good friend of mine took part in the creation of this shit. good cinematography, though.

Kapiling Ngayong Pasko - TM
i am disappointed with this shit because i expect more from the filmmaker paid to do this shit. question: since when did school boys made friends with security guards? honestly, tell me. parang sa coke, this shit is guilty of conscious melodrama.

all in all, i am happy i was not a part in the production of any of the short films. until next year, fellows. seryosohin na sana next year!

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